Thanks to a PFLAG board member, PFLAG is now providing child care during general meetings each month. This has been a long-time need for GLBT and straight parents with small children, so this is a very welcome service being provided.

Source: Spectrum, January 2001

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Like rival armies locked in trench warfare, activists supporting and opposing legal rights for same-sex couples are regrouping after bitter election campaigns and girding for future struggles that will likely divide America for many years to come.

In state capitals, courthouses and corporate boardrooms, gay marriage and its variants -- civil unions and domestic partnerships -- will be an inescapable topic for policy-makers, executives and religious leaders. In Texas, conservative legislators will try this year to make their state the 35th to adopt a law or constitutional amendment banning gay marriage. In New York and Rhode Island, gay lawmakers will introduce bills to legalize it.

"It isn't going to happen overnight -- there will be setbacks and right-wing backlash," said Evan Wolfson, a leading gay-rights lawyer with the Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund. "That's exactly how every civil rights movement in American history has proceeded."

Last spring, gay-rights activists were elated when Vermont enacted its landmark civil-unions law, becoming the first state to extend the rights and responsibilities of marriage to same-sex couples. In November, Democratic Gov. Howard Dean -- who signed the bill -- survived an election challenge by a foe of civil unions, but more than 20 legislators who had supported the law were defeated.

Gay rights opponents also were at work in Nebraska and Nevada, where ballot initiatives proposing to ban same-sex marriage were approved with 70 percent support.

"This will be a long-term battle, like abortion," said Peter LaBarbera, president of Americans for Truth, a Washington, D.C., group that opposes legal recognition of gay couples.

"The people on our side are every bit as committed as the people on their side," he said.

While Nevadans must vote again in 2002 before that state's constitutional amendment takes force, the Nebraska constitutional amendment has gone into effect -- and already is a prime target for the gay-rights movement.

The American Civil Liberties Union, backed by other groups, is preparing a lawsuit challenging the amendment, which goes further than other states' laws. The amendment bans legal recognition not only of gay marriage, but also domestic partnerships, civil unions "and other similar same-sex relationships."

"It's been sold as a Defense of Marriage amendment, but it's really an anti-family amendment," said Tim Butz, executive director of the Nebraska ACLU. "It makes it difficult, if not impossible, for a gay or lesbian family to plan for the future, for the adoption of children, division of property."

Butz expects the legal challenge to take several years and likely reach the U.S. Supreme Court.

"This is a national battleground here," Butz said. "If this amendment withstands the legal challenges we're going to mount, the other side can go forward with more confidence elsewhere."

Indeed, backers of the Nebraska amendment are urging other states to broaden their existing Defense of Marriage laws to address civil unions. The aim would be to deter couples from going to Vermont for a civil union ceremony, then returning home to claim legal recognition.

"Homosexual activists have been very crafty in calling homosexual marriage by another name," said Guyla Mills, a leader of the campaign on behalf of the Nebraska amendment. "I've had many states contact me, interested in doing the same thing we did."

Mills moved after the election to Virginia, taking a job with Kerusso Ministries, a Christian group that encourages gays to change their sexual orientation. In a telephone interview, she spoke repeatedly of animosity generated during the Nebraska campaign.

"It's becoming harder and harder for people to express any kind of opposition to the homosexual agenda for fear of being called hate mongers," she said. "I'm not one to throw in the towel. ... We're going to hold ground. We're going to take back ground."

Amy Desai, a policy analyst for the conservative group Focus on the Family, said proponents of gay marriage underestimate the grassroots opposition to their cause.

"It has been debated in ivory tower settings, by the Hollywood crowd, the political pundits," she said. "Your average mom-and-dad voter, up until this point, hadn't viewed this as a real threat. Now they're waking up and saying, 'You can't force such a radical change on us without us becoming very angry."'

In Texas, where state law explicitly defines marriage as between a man and a woman, some conservatives nonetheless want to join the majority of other states in enacting a Defense of Marriage law.

State Rep. Warren Chisum, who unsuccessfully sponsored similar bills in 1997 and 1999, says he will try again this year.

"The chances do look better," Chisum said. "After Vermont's fiasco, there is a growing support to step up to the table and do the right thing." To Texas gay-rights activists, Chisum's bill is vindictive.

"We already know we can't get married here," said Diane Hardy-Garcia, executive director of the Lesbian and Gay Rights Lobby of Texas. "The only thing that can happen with this is division and hurt."

Hardy-Garcia said her legislative priority this year is a hate-crimes bill.

"Those of us from conservative Southern states have to be very realistic about what we do," she said. "Legislators would think I'm crazy if I went up and asked them to pass a marriage bill right now."

In New York and Rhode Island, however, openly gay legislators plan to introduce gay-marriage bills this year.

Rhode Island Rep. Michael Pisaturo is unsure whether his bill will get through the House Judiciary Committee, but said he is intent on persevering year after year until he prevails or loses his seat. "Most of my colleagues realize it's the right and fair thing to do," he said. "But politically, it's a different story. Most politicians really worry about getting re-elected."

Pisaturo has rejected suggestions that he propose civil unions, rather than full-fledged marriage

"I can't accept anything that codifies in statute my second-class citizenship," he said.

In New York, state Sen. Tom Duane plans to introduce two bills, one proposing civil unions and the other full-fledged marriage for same-sex couples, according to his chief of staff, Andrew Berman.

"We see these two as long-term projects," said Berman, explaining that Duane's proposals would lack teeth until other anti-discrimination measures are enacted.

Despite the efforts of Pisaturo and Duane, the director of the ACLU's Lesbian and Gay Rights Project doesn't expect any state to swiftly endorse gay marriage.

"There isn't another Vermont on the short-term horizon," said Matt Coles. "It will look like there's a pause in the movement. But I say to people, 'Look more closely."'

He said polls now suggest a majority of Americans favor some legal rights for gay couples, albeit not official marital status. He also noted the increasing number of corporations extending domestic-partnership benefits to gay employees.

"Ten years ago there were just a handful of companies doing that," Coles said. "Now, it's becoming the standard of operation." Activists in both camps also detect growing empathy for gays and lesbians among young Americans, as evidenced by the spread of gay-straight alliances at high schools and colleges.

"The young people get it," said Deanna Kaffke [sic Zaffke], a gay-rights leader who teaches at the University of Nebraska. "Even with a conservative student body, a majority of students on campus see that this is a civil rights issue."

If Vermont's civil union law has helped galvanize opposition to gay marriage, it also has inspired many same-sex couples. Among them are Marcie Elias and Hillary Smith, partners for more than two years in New York City who are planning a civil-union ceremony later this year in Vermont. Elias, 28, described herself as "very traditional."

"I've always envisioned myself getting married and having a home. When I came out, that never changed."

Many gay couples see no need for a formal ceremony, she said, "but in my mind it's important to get up in front of my closest friends and family and say, 'This is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with."' Elias, a management consultant, predicted that a steady stream of same-sex couples would go to Vermont to enter civil unions, then return home and seek legal benefits reserved for heterosexual married couples.

"They'll get their requests denied and eventually it's going to work its way to the courts," she said. "As more and more gay couples start clamoring for legal rights and protections, it will become more and more of an administrative nightmare for the states."

Wolfson, the Lambda Defense Fund attorney, agreed that civil unions made in Vermont would spawn lawsuits.

"This is not some chess game," he said. "These are real people who have entered a serious legal relationship. As they encounter discrimination or even uncertainties, there will be litigation. It will arise out of genuine crisis."

Milton Regan, a professor at Georgetown University Law Center who specializes in family law, predicted that state courts would be the pivotal battleground over the next several years as gay couples seek broader rights.

"The growing recognition from the corporate sector begins to confer some legitimacy," Regan said. "But it's not going to be inexorable, and there will be backlashes in many areas. It's one of those battlegrounds in which there is lurching in one direction and the other -- another front in the cultural war."

Source: Associated Press, By David Crary: January 21, 2001

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It is hard to believe this is PFLAG Cornhusker's twentieth year. BUT IT IS! We will celebrate this milestone in the spring.

The organization began in 1981 when a farsighted Lincoln Methodist who had neither a lesbian daughter nor a gay child but felt that they should be respected, invited some parents of gay children to her home to meet and support one another. This small group became a PFLAG chapter not long after the national PFLAG organization was formed. The primary objective of PFLAG is to help families of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people understand one anther. From the very beginning, Lincoln PFLAG Cornhusker, Inc., had and still has three missions to offer support, education, and advocacy wherever needed. And in these early years there was very little help for either gays and lesbians or their families. The Lincoln Unitarian Church opened its doors as a meeting place and has hosted PFLAG meetings ever since.

Almost immediately, the group began to build a library of books at the church, to form a speakers bureau, and to acquire pamphlets from PFLAG National to be handed out, and to be sure that a support group met once a month. Later a telephone helpline was started, a telephone tree, and more recently, a web site established. A straight spouse support group began four years ago.

Very early on, PFLAG started a newsletter with a small grant from the Chicago Resource Center. In 2001, a distinctive new name, "Spectrum", was adopted for the newsletter. "Spectrum" through the years has expanded until today it reaches people not only in Lincoln but also in outstate Nebraska, many other states and Canada. "Spectrum's" mailing list includes 385 households, organizations and other newsletters. Businesses were invited to advertise in Spectrum. In 1996 Spectrum began to advertise welcoming and affirming churches in Lincoln and at present has a list of ten.

Lincoln PFLAG members marched in the first Pride Parade in Omaha, and helped start PFLAG chapters in Omaha and Kearney. Members began attending National PFLAG Conferences and still do. PFLAG sponsored the first AIDS support group in Lincoln, and has had a representative on the Lincoln/Lancaster AIDS Task Force for many years. PFLAG made a quilt piece in the shape of the state for Nebraska AIDS victims.

In 1988 a "Rap on Homophobia" conference was held by PFLAG at the UNL East Campus Union. Use of Lincoln Community TV started with the airing of a speech from the conference titled "Homophobia." To this day, every Friday night at 900pm a local GLBT show appears on Lincoln Community TV. A Coming Out workshop was held in 1990.

In 1989, eight books on homophobia and AIDS were sent to each of 68 small Nebraska town libraries by PFLAG in cooperation with the Nebraska Library Commission, funded through the Woods Charitable Fund, Inc. Recently, 16 books were donated to the Lincoln Public Libraries.

Through the years, a large collection of videos have been assembled, shown at meetings and made available to the public.

Also in the early days PFLAG presented at Lincoln Public Schools Staff Development panels and continues to do so to this day. A speakers bureau was formed, and through the years PFLAG members have spoken to numerous high school and college classes and distributed PFLAG pamphlets to them.

PFLAG has supported full human and civil rights for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender persons from the beginning. All bills in the Nebraska Legislature dealing with GLBT issues have had PFLAG members testify at their hearings, and PFLAG members visit with legislators educating them about GLBT issues. PFLAG members boycotted a local restaurant in 1995 when an employee was fired because he was gay, and PFLAG members have attended GLBT Marches on Washington. PFLAG members lobbied Mary Dean Harvey when she issued her directive forbidding GLBT people from being foster parents. In 1998 PFLAG held a memorial service for Matthew Shepard, the murdered gay college student from Wyoming. PFLAG members helped plane, protest, lobby, attend, furnish food and other necessary duties for the Equality Begins at Home and Focus on Family Values week. PLFAG is very involved in all aspects of legislation affecting GLBT people.

In 1995 PFLAG called 65 businesses in Lincoln with 500 to 2,000 employees asking personnel managers if their companies had a nondiscrimination clause regarding gays and lesbians in their personnel policies. This was followed up with a survey mailed to them.

In 2000, PFLAG members served in all aspects of the NO on DOMA campaign. Members served as leaders, held fund raisers, contributed money, debated, served on panels, participated in rallies, helped staff the NO on DOMA Office, canvassed, distributed leaflets, stuffed envelopes, distributed yard signs, staffed phone banks and did numerous other tasks in an attempt to defeat Initiative 416.

In 1997 the organization began to have fundraisers in the form of wine and cheese parties and comedy entertainment. The same year, the Endowment was started with a three-year pledge to PFLAG of $2,250 each year if PFLAG could raise $1,125. To fund the Endowment, PFLAG swim party fundraiser have been held. The purpose of the Endowment is to ensure that PFLAG has long-term financial stability. The Endowment fund continues to grow and PFLAG has taken no money from it. Also in 1997, the Holiday Parties for PFLAG began, with all money going to PLFAG's Education and Outreach Fund. Part of this money went to putting up a billboard in Lincoln stating "Someone You Know and Love Is Gay." Part of the money raised also went for pamphlets and booklets. The fourth Holiday Party was held in 2000.

Through the years PFLAG has opened its doors to GLBT youth at its meetings, and held Saturday youth meetings for a two year period until all four public high schools formed GLBTS Alliances. PFLAG members in 1995 visited all 14 middle schools in Lincoln talking to principals about setting up GLBTS Alliances in them.

PFLAG is made up of a very diverse group of people parents, family members, friends, gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgendered people, and also straight spouses. Members of all ages come together each month to get support from one another, become comfortable with one another, find information they need from the library or from PFLAG pamphlets, ask questions they can't ask anywhere else, compare experiences, and know that they are accepted for who they are. They also enjoy each other. It is hoped that a children of GLBT parents group will soon be formed.

Everyone who comes to a PFLAG meeting knows that he or she is in a safe place and that all are bound together with the confidentiality pledge read at each meeting. Children are welcome and just recently child care has been provided. None of the above activities, events, outreaches, or support could have happened without many, many dedicated people to bring it about. Many people have served in leadership positions throughout the years, and many, many people have lent support in large and small ways to help wit PFLAG's mission Because we love our children, our primary objective is to help families and their gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender members understand one another. We offer support, education and advocacy wherever needed. We are a self help group who have accepted our children's sexuality and are trying to help other parents, families, and friends do the same.

Source: Spectrum, January 2001

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-- Posted Sunday, January 21, 2001
The Nebraska Coalition for Gay and Lesbian Civil Rights (NCGLCR) has been revived as a functioning 501c3 organization. This is the organization that formed after the 1982 gay rights referendum. Plans are being made to organize fundraisers and form task forces to poll the community to determine what needs exist within the GLBT community.

The first activism by the coalition will be a protest of the governor's signing of Initiative 416 into law. The legal challenge to this constitutional amendment will follow with Lambda Legal Defense Fund and the American Civil Liberties Union leading the way. All interested lawyers willing to help are encouraged to contact Tim Butz, executive director of ACLU-Nebraska. Any people who feel their rights are jeopardized by this amendment should also contact Tim Butz.

The coalition plans to get a functioning office up and running as soon as possible with volunteer staffing at first. Meetings of the NCGLCR are scheduled on February 17, March 17 and April 14. The meetings will be in the UNL City Campus Union from 1:00 to 3:00 PM. For further information e-mail cea@unlserve.unl.edu.

Source: Spectrum, January 2001

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You may have noticed a small change on Page One of this months newsletter. After considering many excellent submissions, the PFLAG Board voted to accept the name "Spectrum" as the new name for the PFLAG Cornhusker Newsletter. Along with the new name, a new logo, designed specifically for "Spectrum" was introduced. We hope you like the new name. We certainly feel that "Spectrum" is a much better name than the unwieldy "PFLAG Cornhusker News." As always, if you have comments, suggestions or submission for "Spectrum", please contact one of the editors or a PFLAG Board member.

Source: Spectrum, January, 2001

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